Life is hard (said in an agonizing/self parodied voice that my friend Andy and I cherish so much). I wish I had something insightful or clever to write now but I really don't. But if you imagine your heart as an egg, if you break that, it's difficult to put an egg back together (we're talking raw here). You have yolk all over the place, egg white splattered who knows where (and literally 'who knows where', when it's raw, it's not egg white, it's egg clear). Then you have all of these little shell pieces to try and glue back together. After you've cracked that sucker on counters edge 2 or 3 times, it begins to like a three year olds macaroni art project - meaning a lot of work with a shitty looking result. I have no idea what that all means.

Supposedly this whole economic crisis is manmade. I read that gem in the editorial section of the newspaper the other day. Two words: No Shit. Last I checked, we don't harvest our money from a Federal Reserve bush located in the magical garden from the Pentagon. There we go, thinking someone walked into the legal tender garden and went, "Oh shit! Chuck! CHUCK! The money bush is down right dyin'! Chuck! Ah man, that Dow Jones guys sure gonna be right p'd off!". Although, maybe...

I'm downloading the new Metallica album 'Death Magnetic' as I type. There are only three songs I haven't heard from it but I already have no doubt that this may be one of their best albums yet. Song after song ... it just amazes me. I can't understate how much I've invested in them and I've never bailed, I've been faithful through everything. So for those detractors and those with little loyalty who've fallen off the wagon, take this album and shove it down your fucking throats. Chew on that.

This new sound rings familiar. I love new Metallica.

Here's to you Brett. Playing for the New York Jets, who will inevitably go down in flames this year. This is gonna hurt.

I just saw The Dark Knight.

I saw Eddie Izzard live. I saw Eddie Izzard live. One more time, I saw Eddie Izzard live. Holy fuck crap that's hard to take in. I've seen all of his stand-up on dvd (sans his latest before 'stripped' which was 'sexie', which I heard wasn't all that good). He also doesn't tour much so I never ever really anticipated being able to see him live. Never though it. Always expected to see Metallica someday, and did. Thought as a kid I'd be able to see the WWF live, and did (one was a pay-per-view, fucking right yeah dude man). Never thought I'd see Eddie Izzard live. But there he was, in all his transvestite...ok, so no drag on this tour, but hilarious all the same. He's probably the most intelligent stand-up comedian you can see live without feeling like he's pretentious or snooty. He's done stand-up in three languages and plans to do more, but much of what I laugh at, in his comedy, is where he uses the word 'fuck'. Intelligent humour + fuck = a badger, Jesus, jam, God joke. Had to be there.

And so it begins, the door has opened to the best week of my entire 2008. In this week I get to indulge in seeing two of my favorite fucking bands ever, Disturbed and Slipknot (on the same night) play, then going to see my favorite stand-up comedian, Eddie Izzard on Monday, and then in far too long that it's going to kill me (which means 7 days), I'll finally be privileged to witness the unveiling of The Dark Knight on Imax. But last night, it all began.

I sat through a silly show by a band called Dragonforce. As far as their talents go, the guitarists capabilities and the singers, they're pretty out of this world. The guitarists play blisteringly fast and the lead singer has a huge range. But they're really ridiculous, and they're whole motive to make music is to look cool onstage, whilst making fun of the cliche of looking cool onstage, not taking their music very seriously (as far as meaning, emotional significance, etc.), and making money and getting laid, all the while trying to be ...original?! I guess. I don't know, they were kind of like silly monkey that throws poop around the stage before the real reason that people came shows up. After all is said done I really hope I never have to see them again. The lead singer was a pouty douche who got mad when the people in the back sat down, and so he only tried so hard in his tight leather pants and glittery hair and shirt to try and get people into it and when it barely worked he shook his head and went to cry to mommy. I mean, that's pretty awesome, don't get me wrong, but I guess if it came down to it I'd rather see the monkey throwing poop.

So anyway. Eventually Disturbed hit the stage, and the place went crazy. Everyone stood up, like usual, and it was 'off the hook' as some people like to say. They played the two songs I really wanted to hear, back to back, which made me content for the rest of the night. Then they left, and I thought I was done. 'No more thrashing my head around and singing along for me', I told my lovely girlfriend sitting next to me. I'm a bad liar. Slipknot hit the stage and I was far crazier than I was before. Whipping my head around like sadistic bobblehead on every song and spewing the words from the bottom of the true metal pit within me. It was fucking amazing. As I expected, but something I needed desperately. Nothing rips out the primal tendencies in me like Slipknot. They put on one fucking phenomenal show. So afterward, as I couldn't move my neck and my voice was barely audible, I walked to car in a motherfuckin' metal euphoria. Nothing compares to what a show like that does for me. Nothing.

In nine days a bomb drops. Settle down homeland security. Take me off your list, Mr. Bush. What I mean is, in nine days The Dark Knight will be unleashed on the world. This movie is going to be huge... and amazing. The hype is out of this world. My body is calcifying in anticipation (I know, how crazy is that?!) Batman Begins was the best comic book movie before, and now it's sequel has come to replace it. I have no doubts. Almost all of the midnight Imax screenings in the U.S. have sold out...already. We're over a week away from opening. More and more theaters are starting to add 3 a.m. and 6 a.m. showings because the demand is so high. Apart from all this, the most important thing that this film is doing, is it's taking his giant palpitating fists of tormented rage and pummeling to death those disgraced, wastes of film called Batman Forever and Batman and Robin. I cannot thank you enough Christopher Nolan, for making real Batman movies and resurrecting the franchise. Thank you to Christian Bale, Gary Oldman, and the late Heath Ledger, who I have no doubt is going to blow peoples minds into Metropolis. Thank you to the rest of the people involved who brought dignity, respect, and most of all fear, back to the Dark Knight.

Two excerpts from the book 'The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self' by Alice Miller.

"No one can heal by maintaining or fostering illusion. The paradise of preambivalent harmony, for which so many patients hope, is unattainable. But the experience of one's own truth, and the post-ambivalent knowledge of it, make it possible to return to one's own world of feelings at an adult level - without paradise, but with the ability to mourn. And this ability does, indeed, give us back our vitality."

and

"I can be sad or happy whenever anything makes me sad or happy; I don't have to look cheerful for someone else, and I don't have to suppress my distress or anxiety to fit other people's needs. I can be angry and no one will die or get a headache because of it. I can rage when you hurt me, without losing you."

So to be honest, there is a lot in the book that confuses me, partially because of the language (which isn't all that dense, not as dense as I anyway), but there is much I appreciate and want to implement. I wear the mask of happiness far too often.